I really don't think that anyone in this world knows the real me. My kids know me better than anyone else, but I don't think I've ever let certain sides of me come out around anyone except myself. I keep some feelings hidden because no one would understand, and even if they did understand, there wouldn't be anything that anyone could do... I worry about my character, not my reputation because my character is who I am & my reputation is what people think I am. Which this is SAD!
I'm not perfect, I never tried to be. I've made mistakes. I've taken the easy way out. I've lied to people. I've hidden the truth so many times from so many people. I've hurt people, and I've even sadly done it on purpose. I've left people behind. I've spread rumors. I've said things that I didn't mean. I'm no better than anyone, anywhere. I'm human! I have faults, and I'm not afraid to admit that. I have changed, because that's what we do. We list our faults like a grocery list, and we move on, expecting everything to somehow change itself. It never will. I have made the effort to change. Without effort nothing or no one will CHANGE. So, I will never be perfect and I will always make mistakes. I've learned to NOT take the easy way out anymore. I will NOT lie, and NOT hide the truth, NOT hurt people, will NOT leave people behind, will NOT spread rumors, and say things I don't mean for the rest of my life! Because I am ME!
I'm not always as confident as I seem ... there are many nights and many days when all I want is to be held. I love being held. Always! Sometimes I don't want to talk about what is bothering me ... sometimes I just want a hug ... someone who will let me cry. I like when men cry in front of me -- when people aren't afraid to show what they're really feeling. I don't like when people run from their true feelings because it doesn't do anyone any good. I wear my heart on my sleeve, but I am not naive. I know what it feels like to be completely broken and I am all too familiar with what it means to be hurt. I know what it's like to see something funny and not laugh. I've been taken advantage of, used, and abused. My feelings have been blatantly disregarded. But I still believe that all people are good at heart ... and my trust in people has not diminished. To be completely honest, I hope it never does. Ever!
Just thought I'd....mention who I am... I AM ME! NOT WHO YOU WANT, WISH, OR NEED ME TO BE!
